Why do I post on this website? I do not know. I maybe get on here once a week. And the only reason I do that is to vent. And whenever I post something, it not only consist of a heinous ammoutn of crap, but it consists of a heinous ammount of crap that nobody will read or care about. Am I being depressing? No. Do I crave sympathy? No. Am I realistic? Yes. Am I mad about this realization? No. Point is, this may as well be a provate journal. The only person who is likely to read this is like a brother to me anyway, and siblings tend to steal others provate stuff and read it. But I don’t think he even appreciates the enormous pile of shit that I bark up on this site. In fact, today, I don’t even feel like checking any of my spelling or grammer infractions, nor do I feel like using big words. Big words only confuse people and imply that the person using them may just be an asshole. Well, anyway, I feel accomplished when I type a lot, and this post has no significance at all, so I’m just going to ramble on about nothing until I get to my desired length. What to talk about… Well, idk. Perhaps I should just shut up and go away. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Kthnxbye.
Yes, I actually came up with a relevant topic for once. Surprise… Anyway, I’m in a bit of a pickle. Not that many people would even care. At the moment I have merely one follower, so it’s likely that only one person will read this. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have my share of talents and possible success within those categories, true, but why is it that I can’t even stand trying to get into one relationship. It’s stressful, and I feel like it shouldn’t be. I know I like the right person, I have given said person much thought and have gotten much positive feedback from her. Like, a LOT of positive feedback. But nothing ever turns out just right. It seems like in school she wants nothing to do with me, outside of school couldn’t go better. Outside of school, things go ALMOST exactly how I would want them to go(with a few exceptions, mostly pertaining to how inexperienced I am in the relationship field). So, needless to say, I’m incredibly confused. Point is, now she is practically ignoring me and I fear I did something wrong. But, I am a man, so I could never figure out what it could possibly be that I did wrong(as things naturally go for men). This happens every single time for me. I find happiness, and that happiness is quickely shattered by incesant doubts in my mind. I hate it. I’m hoping that I’m just thinking too far into things. So, life is indeed a bitch to me as far as relationships go. And ordinarily, I would not type this much personal stuff in a public post, but I figure nobody is going to read all of this crap anyway. MAYBE one person(my one follower). Well, that just about covers it. If you want, give me helpful advise, please.
I am not happy. But, at the same time, I’ve never been better. Make sense? No. It really doesn’t. At all. My life is just a bunch of dog poop. It’ll sit on the lawn, completely unnoticed, until someone steps in it and smushes it into the ground and leaves a huge shoe mark in it. Then at the end of the week, the person will have completely forgotten that they stepped on it and it will soon be picked up and thrown away and be forgotten about. Yeah, you’re probably wondering, “Who thinks like that?” Well, ordinarily, I don’t. I simply did not want to entirely expose my deep personal feelings, so I masked it with a ton of metaphores. Odds are, in my rant, I will end up exposing what I meant anyway, so the entire beginning of this text is a complete and utter waste of time. Oh well. You know what, I’m just going to destroy the purpose of that metaphore right now. I feel like I am invisible to the world. Like I mean nothing to anyone. People know I exist, but they do not acknowledge me. When the time comes for me to be noticed, I always end up getting hurt in the end. Then when all is said and done and I feel like crap, everyone just simply forgets about it in no time and just leave me behind for whatever comes my way. Has something bad happened to me recently to cause this train of thought? No, not recently. In fact, lately my life has been very good. I have found myself someone who I really care about, and it’s mutual thing. But, my previous thought was brought on by the fear of future events and it’s relation to past occurances. I know she cares about me now, but I’ve fallen into a strange obsession with her and it refuses to hold back. Mental problem, maybe? Well, I doubt it, but it’s bothering me and I feel like it will negatively affect what could be a relationship in the near future. I am just afraid of her finding things about me that she doesn’t like. What that could be, I don’t know.
The title is bull. It has no relevance to this particular post, nor is it likely to have anything to do with any future post by me. So why did I pick that name for this post? Because I believe in a perfect world? As a way of mocking the imperfections of the world? Well, quite fankly, the answer is neither one of those. For, an answer does not exist. The first thing that any person on here will realise about me, is that I believe that life is a joke and I treat is as such. Will I turn out to be a loser for this? No. Why? Because, while I do treat life like a joke, that doesn’t mean I have nothing going for me. I’m passing school with rather good grades(not the best) and I excell at what I am good at. I will also not tell you what I am good at. You have to figure that out for yourself without having me directly divulge it. Also note that a majority of what I will say to you is a complete and utter joke and is to be taken as one. If it is not taken as one, I will instantly deem you a stiff in my life and will no longer address you in any informal manner as one of my companions as I normally would, if I plan to address you at all. But I doubt that anyone who would dare follow me would have the audasity to lead me to that conclusion anyway. If you do learn to accept everything I say as a joke, then you will most likely be able to tell when I am serious. Distinguishing the two will not be intricate in any way. I am not a hard person to figure out, though I do make it my life goal to seem that way. That was a lie, it is not my life goal even in the slightest. Or was it? No, it wasn’t. Though it could be. But it also could not. Try not to think too far into it. My life goals are for me to know and for you to find out for yourself. Well, I think I just summed up everything I prefered to say. I have also casually ignored all else that I did not want to say, while I did just acknowledge them, as planned. Also, for those of you who decided to read this much, do not forget to thank me for wasting a majority of your time. You could have been doing something much more productive.